Destiny 2's Derealize Exotic Mission Madness

In the chaotic whirlwind of Episode Heresy, Destiny 2 has unleashed Barrow-Dyad, a Strand SMG that resembles a frisbee and spews Taken blights like a malfunctioning sprinkler system. Guardians across the cosmos are scrambling into the Derealize Exotic mission, only to face eldritch horrors that make the Vex look like kindergarten teachers. 🤯 It's a journey filled with puzzles that could fry your brain, boss fights that induce existential dread, and enough floating eyeballs to make you question reality—literally. Completing it rewards you with this shiny new toy, but not without a few heart-stopping detours into pocket dimensions and near-death experiences. Buckle up, Lightbearers, because sanity is optional here.

Accessing This Bonkers Expedition

To dive into Derealize, head to The Last City destination on your director. You'll spawn in the Mausoleum pit, where a Taken Ogre boss usually hangs out, but now it's overrun with Taken nasties and those giant, creepy eyeballs. These peepers slap you with a debuff called "Suffocating Terror," which stacks up to 20 before you keel over from a simulated heart attack—talk about immersive realism! 😂 After mopping up some adds, you'll face Vrhiisk, Seeker of Power, a Strand Subjugator who's all about dramatic exits. Damage her enough, and she bolts, leaving behind her lackey, the Follower of Power. Beat that chump, and a portal appears—just jump through it like you're diving into a pool of questionable decisions.

Vrhiisk Boss Shenanigans

On the other side, you land in the Trenchway, with Vrhiisk waiting like a grumpy neighbor. Wail on her until her health dips by a third, and she throws up an immunity shield. Suddenly, two Taken Ogres crash the party—kill them to grab a Taken Relic. Now, blast away at enemies until you get "Torn Between Dimensions," which reveals hidden platforms. Navigate those while trying not to fall off (easier said than done), and dunk the relic on highlighted Taken Blights. Do this twice, and Vrhiisk becomes vulnerable again. Rinse and repeat until she's down to her last third, then brace for eyeball-induced panic as you're teleported to a pocket dimension for the final face-off. Defeat her, and congrats—you're trapped in a puzzle room with no exit! 😱

That Mind-Bending Puzzle

Time for symbol matching, folks! Stand on a plate to reveal one of four symbols on a panel: Hamburger 🍔, Letter A, Vex head, or Turret (yes, they're named that way—Bungie's clearly snacking while coding). Your screen screams "NO ESCAPE" with a "Reality Tears" timer, so no pressure. Match the symbols left to right; if they align, step off the plate in the indicated direction. If not, stay put on the plate, and you'll get whisked to another room to try again. It's like a cosmic game of Simon Says, but with more existential dread.

After nailing all four symbols, you're teleported for some platforming. Jump up walls, avoid pits of doom, and watch out for spears that'll shish-kebab you and Taken geysers that send you flying like a ragdoll. Key steps:

• Jump down a dark pit (the first one, not the second—trust me).

• Scale walls carefully.

• Navigate floating Hive architecture with Knights lurking.

• Look for dark gaps to bypass Taken forcefields.

Eventually, you reach a Shrieker-filled chasm. Hunt down three Hive crystals in shadowy nooks and shoot 'em. When the last one breaks, "The Seal is Broken!" flashes, letting you ascend. Follow the right wall, hop onto tentacles, and dodge more hazards until you hit a rally point. Time to gear up for the grand finale!

Xir-Kuur Boss Extravaganza

Approach the desk to grab Barrow-Dyad, which spawns Taken Blights. Destroy them, and voilà—Xir-Kuur, Not-Taken, appears with Void-shielded Acolytes. After a third of his health vanishes, you get "Torn Between Dimensions" again and face Xir-Kuur, Taken. This phase-shifting madness continues until you off the Not-Taken version, causing a colossal merged boss to form. But here's the kicker: you can't fight this monstrosity! Instead, book it out of the room and converge on a plate to seal the door. Phew, close call!

Rewards and the Grind Ahead

Beat Derealize, and you snag Barrow-Dyad plus the Dyadic Ascension quest. This unlocks Intrinsic perks and Catalysts—start with Steel Your Nerves at Rank 5 on the Shaping Slab. Then, revisit The Nether to find six Osseous Fragments per step. Your mini-map guides you, so explore the Dreadnaught thoroughly. Upgrades include Panic Response perks, all the way to Level V. It's a grind, but hey, that frisbee SMG is worth it for the sheer absurdity.

A Personal Glimpse Into Destiny's Future

From this Guardian's perspective, Episode Heresy feels like a fever dream that's only getting wilder. With Barrow-Dyad's frisbee antics and pocket dimensions galore, I'm betting Act 2 will dive deeper into Strand shenanigans—maybe even introduce Taken frisbee golf or Hive karaoke nights. 🎤 Seriously though, Bungie's cranking up the cosmic weirdness, and I wouldn't be surprised if future exotic missions toss us into black holes for tea parties with the Darkness. For now, relish the madness, and remember: if those eyeballs stare back, just wave your new SMG like it's a disco ball.